That Was Then
by DARWIN51
Summary: "You two know each other?" "We go back a few years." First Nate and Nell fic for Los Angeles archive. Not romantic, slight Neric at the end.


**A/N- I don't own NCIS LA or the characters, but I do own my charaters: Max (not Deeks's alias), Lev, Cato, and Shea. I kind of have a whole backstory thing with Nell and Lev and Cato, and also one for Eric, but I don't think anyone wants to hear that. (Is it wrong to fangirl over your own character? Because I just love Shea!) I had to go along with my backstory for a little bit of it, just because it fits the timeline, such as the triplet thing (yes, in my story, Nell is a triplet. I mean she's so small right?) Rated for hidden themes of child abuse and kind of sad. Enjoy!**

**Words: 3,355**

Eric could immediately tell something was off as soon as his partner walked through the doors of OSP. The dark circles under her eyes told him she hadn't gotten much sleep. The usual spring in her step was absent and her gaze shifted downward when he turned around.

"Hey what's wrong? Eric asked, concerned. Nell mentally composed herself and turned to him. "Nothing, Eric. Everything's fine, why?"

"You seem…"

"Thanks, I know, I look like crap."

"NO. You seem upset. Everything okay?"

"Look, Eric. I'm perfectly fine, and even if I wasn't, it would be my business. Not yours." Nell snapped angrily.

That shut him up.

"Eric, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No no, I get it Nell."

Nell sighed. She just wanted to get through today without drawing too much attention to herself. Eric was surprised by Nell's behavior this morning, but decided to just let it go for now. She obviously figured she could take care of it herself, but he wasn't going to let this go that easily. Just for now.

They worked in silence for the next few hours, until Callen and the team came in.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Sam asked, letting himself in.

Eric and Nell took no notice, eyes glued to the glowing screens.

Callen cleared his throat loudly. Eric and Nell both jumped in surprise, making their swivel chairs bump into each other and causing Eric to partially fall out of his chair. He righted himself, straightened his glasses, and give Callen a casual "Oh, hey, I didn't see you there."

"Yeah, I know you didn't. You were too busy looking at those dumb screens. We need to get you out more, you two are gonna go brain dead on those things." Sam said.

"We don't have a case today." Deeks said

"And you'll never guess whose back!" Kensi added excitedly.

"Who?" Eric asked.

'Nate!" Kensi said. "He's flying in this afternoon, I'm going to pick him up!"

"Really? Awesome!" Eric said, standing up.

Nell went pale. She could feel the blood draining from her face, and her heart beating a little bit faster. Nell, you should come with me!" Kensi said. "We were just saying how you need to get out, this would be perfect!"

"Heh, yeah…" Nell said hoarsely. Kensi was so excited, she took no notice, but Sam gave her a sideways glance. "So his flight lands at 1, so we should get there by about 12:30 so we can beat the traffic and be there when he gets off…" Kensi continued but Nell didn't hear any more. She did not want to see Nate, out of all other days of the year, seeing him would be fine, even great, but today, just thinking about him brought a flood of unwanted emotions and memories she had buried deep long ago.

"Uhh… I don't think I can… I have a huge backup of work." Nell attempted a lame excuse.

"You told me yesterday you finished all your work." Eric said

"Nell, you okay?" Sam asked.

"Uh yeah fine, it must just be looking at these computer screens." Wrong thing to say.

"So we should take you outta here! It's noon now so it'll take about twenty minutes to get to the airport, so we should leave soon. Get your things and meet me downstairs." Kensi instructed.

Kensi, Deeks, and Callen left OSP. Sam gently said a hand on Nell's shoulder and pulled her aside, "You okay? You seem kinda out of it today." He asked with concern. "I'm fine, honestly-" "Don't lie to me. Sam said sternly. "I'm not the kind of person to put up with being lied to." Nell sighed. "I'm dealing with some personal issues today." "Just today?" Sam pressed. "Well, it's the…anniversary of something, just not something good. Not something like a wedding or anything." Nell explained as vaguely as she could. She was a little concerned that Sam was asking her this, she didn't think any of the agents cared about her, since she was new. Sam nodded. "Okay, you take care of yourself, kay? Maybe you should go home and get some rest. You look like you didn't sleep." "yeah. Okay. I think I just might. Thanks, Sam." "Sure thing."

Nell grabbed her bag and went down the stairs where Kensi was trying to get Deeks off her desk.

"Look at this, you're crushing my paperwork!"

"Well, I guess you'll have to do it again, won't you?"

"Deeks! Get off or I swear I'll shoot you in the face!"

"C'mon. Admit it. You think I look hot. You just can't control yourself if I sit up here any longer, I look super hot perched up her on your desk, don't I?"

Kensi shoved him hard and he fell off her desk. "Ow! Totally uncalled for!" Deeks cried from the floor.

"Oh Nell there you are, c'mon, let's go." Kensi called. Nell had the intentions of going home and giving up entirely on her plan to try to be social today, but wasn't in the mood to explain herself anymore, and telling Kensi she wasn't feeling well or didn't want to see Nate would just arouse suspicion. So she kept her mouth shut and followed Kensi to her car.

The girls made small talk in the car, and got the airport rather quickly. Kensi maneuvered her car into a tight parking spot and they climbed out. Once inside the airport, they found that Nate's flight was early, so they took a seat and waited. 10 minutes later, people from Nate's flight started coming out so Kensi and Nell stood up and looked around. Nate appeared around the corner, pulling a suitcase behind him. He saw them and waved politely and came over. Kensi gave him a big hug.

"Oh my gosh we all missed you so much, how did it go? Was it dangerous?" Nate was smiling at Kensi, but then seemed to notice Nell for the first time and his smile quickly faded, but then brightened again, ignoring Nell and focusing his attention on Kensi's questions.

Nell had prepared herself for him to be upset with her. Of course he would, after what she'd done. But deep down, she knew Nate was a good guy, so she hadn't expected him to ignore her like that, not even so much as a hello. She got angry for a second, but then mentally smacked herself for being so selfish.

"…So I brought Nell because I know you said something about knowing each other, and her and Eric were just zombies on those computers, we thought they had gone comatose, so Sam said something about getting them out of OSP so I thought this would be perfect, right?"

"Um…yeah." Nate replied, a little overwhelmed.

_You have no idea, Kensi._ Nell thought.

The car ride back consisted of Nate telling about his trip, Kensi listening intently, and Nell trying to keep her cool. She glanced back at Nate once, and quickly had to turn back when she realized that while Nate's voice had been fine, calm, talking to Kensi, his eyes showed pain, even anger, that Nell knew was directed at her.

Once back at OSP, Nate hung out with the team while Nell excused herself upstairs. "Is Nate here?" Eric asked.

"Yeah, we just got back."

"Awesome!" Eric bounded out of the room, which didn't help because Nell was wishing she had someone to talk to.

"Hey. You look upset." Said Shea, pushing his spinny chair in the general direction of Nell with his eyes closed, using the table to guide him. Shea was one of the other techies that worked there. Obviously he didn't work for Callen, he was part of a different operation; But since he and Eric and Nell and other various techies had to work in the same room, they became good friends. Shea was blind. What? A blind person who works with computers? You'd be surprised.

"Very funny." Nell muttered.

"Is it about that Nate guy?"

"Maybe…"

"What did he do? Cause I can go beat him up." Shea challenged.

"No, you can't, you're blind." Nell quipped.

"No! Really? Are you sure? Damn. And all this time I just thought someone forgot to turn the lights on!"

"It doesn't matter anyways. It's what I did, not him." She grumbled, ignoring his comment.

"Well, it couldn't have been that bad. You don't seem like the skeletons-in-the-closet type of girl."

"…You have no idea."

_**FLASHBACK**_

"_I dare you to go inside!"_

"_No way! This place is creepy!"_

"_Don't be such a baby."_

"_Fine, I'll go, but you guys have to come with."_

"_Deal."_

_**END FLASHBACK**_

"Nell? Could I talk to you for a sec?" It was Nate.

"Uh, sure." Nell followed him out the door. Sam and Callen noticed and decided to eavesdrop, slipping behind a corner.

"Nate, I'm so sorry I didn't even know you were coming and this whole day has just been…"

"Stop. Slow down. Why are you apologizing? What happened with Max was 17 years ago. Do you honestly think that I'm still mad at you?"

"But…I thought…"

"What happened was not your fault. It was an accident."

_Accident._

_**FLASHBACK TO NEWS ARTICLE**_

"_A 6-year-old boy was tragically killed last Saturday in what can only be described as a freak __**accident.**_

_**END FLASHBACK**_

"You weren't there, you don't know what happened." Nell insisted, tears springing up in her eyes.

"You think I believe you would purposely kill Max? Not you, not Lev, not even Cato. No six-year-old would do that, no matter what violent themes your father may have put in your heads."

"Nate…"

_**FLASHBACK**_

"_I can't see a damned thing." Lev muttered._

"_Please don't cuss." Max told him._

"_Sorry Max." _

"_Yeah, well look what I brought!" Cato said, proudly holding up a lighter._

"_What is it?" Lev asked._

"_It's dad's lighter, I stole it from the drawer."_

"_Cato! Are you stupid? Dad's gonna beat you senseless if he finds out!" Nell shivered at the thought._

"_Don't worry, he won't." Cato flicked the switch a couple times. "Dang thing doesn't work." FWOOSH "Whoa!" Cato laughed as the flame jumped, and there was something almost sadistic about it as it echoed through the long abandoned barn. _

"_Give it to me, I wanna see!" Lev cried, jealous of his brother._

"_No way! I found it!" _

"_You mean you stole it." _

"_Exactly. Stealers, keepers." _

"_I-I have a bad feeling about this. I just wanna go home. Or get my parents." Max said nervously._

"_No way! We can't bring grown-ups into this! We're not even supposed to be here." Nell told him._

"_Well then we should at least have Nate here. H's 10, that means he knows everything." Max said, proud of his big brother._

"_Hey! Watch it! Oof!" Cato cried as Lev tried to take the lighter from his hands, Lev knocked Cato over and the lighter clattered to the ground._

"_Look what you did!" _

"_What I did? You-"_

_Some old hay caught on fire, and both boys jumped back. "Ahh!" Cato screamed, startled. The fire spread fast, catching easily to the hay scattered around the floor, then jumping to the walls of rotting wood, creating a horrible smell and thick black smoke, obscuring the limited vision the kids had. Nell was full of confusion and suddenly very dizzy as she inhaled deeply, trying to get a breath, but only causing her to cough. She stumbled against a wall and leaned there for a second, trying to catch her breath, but she soon realized the wall was on fire, burning her shoulder. She pulled away quickly and bumped into someone, which frightened her since she couldn't see anything. The other figure screamed and she assumed they had been just as frightened as her."I want my mommy!" Max pleaded. "This way." Nell took his small hand in hers and acted as if she knew where she was going. She found a window, and just as the far room of the barn was crashing down, she heard a cry from the other side of the barn, which she knew to be Max's. The hand she was holding disappeared into smoke. Scared, she quickly wiggled through the window and collapsed on the grass below, coughing so hard she thought for sure she would cough up a vital organ. She felt herself being lifted by Lev and Cato as they started to run away from the barn. _

"_What about Max?" she cried. "We've got to get Max!" "Forget it Nell, he's gone!" Cato shouted in her ear. The triplets' relationship with their father had taught them to put their safety first before others. Cato was just following that unspoken policy, looking out for his sister. As they ran, they could still hear empty screams coming from the barn as its musty, seemingly uneventful life ended with a bang._

_**END FLASHBACK**_

Nell looked up, tears in her eyes, overwhelmed from the sudden rush of memory. "Nate…I killed your little brother. I'm sorry."

Nate hesitated. 'Whatever happened I'm sure you did what you could." Nate reassured her.

"NO! You don't get it! He was still alive in the barn! We walked away on his screams!" Nell all but shouted at him. She felt everything she had held in for 17 years being released.. About Max, about her father, and about what she saw from the tree house that day in September, but those were other stories to be told at a later date. Or not. She had never told anyone about Max, and her brothers refused to talk about it. She felt guilty for loading this all on Nate, especially today, August 9th, the day that 17 years ago that changed their lives forever.

Nate felt like he had taken a slap in the face. They left max? When he could have been saved? Why would they do that? It was as if his little brother; who he mothered when their mother wasn't able to, held his hand and walked him to school, tucked him in at night, the little brother who had accidentally called him 'mommy' once after she was gone which made Nate cry for 3 hours without stopping; had died for nothing! He wanted to hit Nell so hard she spun 3 times for leaving Max behind, but then he realized; what if they hadn't been able to save him? If they were already out, they would just be foolishly putting their own lives at risk by going back in. After all, that only works in movies. In real life, the hero wouldn't come out alive with the victim graciously draped in his arms. Still, something about the thought of one of the triplets dying trying to save Max sounded better than them walking away on his screams, but Nate quickly squelched the thought, feeling selfish.

"I'm sorry." Nell said quietly.

They were interrupted by Eric's whistle. "New case guys! I know it's a late start, but Hetty wanted us to get to this one today because he haven't done anything today." Down below, Kensi grumbled something and Deeks clapped his hands together to get her moving.

Everyone congregated in the tech room as Eric and Nell quickly briefed them on the situation unfolding about an ex. Navy SEAL found dead in his LA home earlier that morning. Hetty agreed it was a late start the day, since the reports on the man had only been finished recently, so they would find a plan of action tomorrow, but at least they were briefed today.

"Nate, Nell, is there something wrong with you guys today? You've been acting kinda weird." Kensi asked. "Yeah, how exactly do you guys know each other?" Deeks added.

Nate and Nell looked at each other, unsure of what to say. Nell gave a look that said we don't have to tell them. Nate returned a look that said they're going to find out either way.

And that was true. The agents could find any information they wanted on Nate and Nell, no doubt Hetty already had.

Nate cleared his throat. "Um, like we said, we used to know each other…"

"Yeah but how?" Deeks pressed. "Did you used to date?"

"What? Ha. No." Nate said at the same time Nell said "Oh god no!" and they ended on the "no" together. Nell coughed loudly a couple times and Nate glanced awkwardly at anything but other people. "Gross, no." Nell commented. "Gross?' Nate said, clearly offended. "Well, no, I just meant-" Nell stopped. "Sure, Nell Jones, I'm sure that's what you meant." Nate said. Both of them were unspokenly acting friendly, as if to prove to the team that there was nothing wrong.

"We used to be neighbors." Nate said. "Long time ago, when we were really little, you know, diapers and baby strollers and crap."

"That explains a lot." Callen commented.

"And kills other theories…" Kensi muttered.

"So what's with you guys today?" Eric asked.

"Um. Well, 17 years ago today, someone very important to us died tragically, and there was some mystery to exactly what happened earlier but we have that all resolved now. Okay? All good." Nate finished awkwardly. The team respected their privacy and didn't press further.

Kensi glanced at her watch. It read 9 PM. "Who wants to go get some drinks?" she asked. Deeks wooped and Sam and Callen agreed. "I could definitely use some." Nate said. "I think I'll head home." Nell decided. "Eric?" Kensi asked. "Uh, maybe I'll catch up with you later." Eric said. "Okay. See ya Eric, Nell." Sam said, following the others out.

Nell packed her stuff and left without looking at Eric or saying a word. Not long after she started driving, she saw Eric's car following close behind, and was glad he got her unspoken message. She pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex, then went upstairs to her apartment, unlocked the door, and let herself in. She left the door open, and Eric followed her. She went to her bedroom, removed her work clothes, and crawled into bed. Eric stood in the doorway.

"You didn't go with the others." Nell said quietly.

"No." Eric said. "I was worried about you."

"Well don't be. I don't need you to worry." Nell replied.

"But I always will…" Eric entered the room and climbed into the bed. He gently pulled Nell close to his body, her facing away from him, but curled up in him. He set his chin on her shoulder and softly rubbed up and down her side. She shivered slightly and he pulled the covers up to her shoulders, even though he knew the shivers weren't because she was cold. He listened to her breathing steadily slow, as she fell asleep. Finally, he was able to fall asleep, knowing they both were safe. Though neither would admit it, for fear of breaking their friendship into the next level, it was the best sleep either tech had gotten in 17 years.

**A/N: Whoa drama! I didn't intend so much drama in this story, I was laughing while writing the most serious parts because of the cornieness of the drama! For those of you who have read my other stories, most of them aren't dramatic like this, because that's just not my personality. I was a little worried about posting this so REVIEW so that I can tell if this was a mistake or not!**

**-DAR**


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